American Idol....There can only be one!

There's not too many things that I'd consider myself to be an expert on. I simply don't have enough life experience. There are very few things that I've actually observed and experienced long enough to actually really understand what's going on. American Idol is one of those things.
I don't want to like Idol, with it's mediocre performances, blatant and unabashed product placement (they have a coffee table with a freakin' wheel in it for crying out loud), and some of the terrible effects it's had on the music industry (Clay Aiken! Clay Aiken! Clay Aiken!) But for whatever reason, I love it. I love watching people's hopes and dreams getting crushed on live television (realizing that almost all of them will get record deals). I love watching the reason that painkillers and Coca-Cola should never mix Paula Abdul make nonsensical remarks about colors and butterflies when she's supposed to critique a performance. Hell, I even love the homoeroticism that goes on between Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacreast.
And to top it off, I even seem to have a knack about guessing what's going to happen on Idol. I correctly predicted the top eight of last year in the order of their elimination. Hell, I even correctly predicted that there would be a top 13 this year (Ask my friend Morbitzer, he was there). So I figured since the interweb isn't filled with enough dribble about American Idol, I'd throw my hat into the rink. So beginning this week to when I get bored the season finale, I'll offer up my humble opinion on the upcoming week and where the contestants stand on the elimination radar.

Week One

Due to the varying amount of screen time that the finalists have had, I can't really make a firm estimate on what order the contestants will fall. I can, however, easily divide them into three groups: Simon-fodder (the one's who'll be lucky to make it past week three), theUnknowns/Dark Horses, and the Legitimate Contenders.

Simon Fodder
Jasmine Murray-The seventeen year old who apparently too old sounding. She's the easily the weakest link in the top 13. She hasn't had a strong performance since the show went live and made it through purely based on commercial appeal.

Michael Carver-The oil-rigger with a heart of gold. He has the weakest vocals, but his rough and tumble story should carry him for a few weeks.

Matt Giraud-The dueling pianist. I would have rather listened to the Esurance band then his cover of Viva la Vida. The first song that he misfires on will be his doom.

Kris Allen-The heartthrob (?) of the bunch. I sincerely couldn't remember a thing about him until I looked him up. Don't expect America to remember much about him either.

The Unknowns

Allison Iraheta-The most awkward contestant ever. She sang the socks out of Alone, but she never appeared on the show before then. She did apperantly win a Telemundo singing contest by singing Total Eclipse of the Heart, so I don't think she's a one-and-doner.

Adam Lambert-The Twilight/Chemical Romance/goth dude. He can hit the high notes, but that's about it. He also has a shot at clinching the ever-important seventeen year old girl vote if the photo of him kissing another dude doesn't make the rounds on the tween magazines.

Megan Joy Corkroy-The hipster. She's got a different voice, and if she picks the right songs, she could make it count.

Jorge Nunez-The Puerto Rican. I like Jorge, and he's got a great voice. I only worry about him surviving some of the theme weeks (Country week, anyone?)

The Legitimate Contenders

Anoop Desai.-The most awesome contestant of all time. He's a great performer, easily likable, and will have my vote week after week. But will he last down the stretch? He needs to prove that he can hold his own on the vocal end.

Scott MacIntyre-The blind guy. Great singer, great story, and he publicly humiliated Seacreast on national television. Those are the recipes for an American Idol.

Lil Rounds-Fantasia Barrino 2.0-She's got the singing chops. Heck, she's probably the best singer in the competition. I only worry that she'll take on a Mariah Carey song that she can't win.

Alexis Grace-The spunky blonde. The true love of one of my best friends, she's my favorite of the girls. She's got a hell of a voice, but I don't like how she totally changed her image to better compete in Idol. Still, she's got a legitimate shot at winning.

Danny Gokey-The guy who's wife died. His heartbreaking story about his dead wife has made his run to the top of the competition that more touching. Let's just hope the producers don't make the audience tired of hearing about it.


And that's how they divide out in my mind. I'll be sure to update tomorrow after the results come in to see if there's any changes. (Ten bucks says there won't!)