I Wonder What Dracula's Stock Portfolio Looks Like...

I heard a funny story today. Apparently, an employer made a hiring decision based upon reading a prospective employee's blog. The blog in question portrayed its writer as a creative, insightful person who would make for a great employee. Since blogs (and the interweb in general) are now fair game for employers to be, I have decided to mold this post to appeal to any future employers that might be lurking.

March 11
6:15 PM: Woke up as the accursed sun went down. How I hate the sun and its rays of death! I long for when the sun never rises so we nightwalkers can roam the earth free.

7:30 PM: Hunted down a hearty breakfast and sucked it dry. A good breakfast is essential to start off the day right. It keeps the immune system healthy and allows you to get a taste for the day to come.

9:00 PM: After I put on my cape and brushed my fangs, I flew to work. I love the evening commute with the breeze rushing past my pointy, transformed ears. And of course, being able to transform into a bat really cuts down on commute time.

11:30 PM: Dealt with some of my favorite people today. Politicians! In this world filled with do-gooders, it's good to know that there's some fellow blood-suckers out there, at least in spirit. In exchange for me not killing them and feasting on their blood, politicians agreed to set aside government money for my non-profit organization, Vampires for a Better World.

1 AM: At lunch, waiter forgot that I specifically requested no garlic in my soup. I was very upset. Was the waiter trying to kill me? I made sure that he got the point (it's a pun, get it?) and insured that he'd never repeat the same mistake twice. Of course, I wasn't very hungry after that.

3 AM: Heard a great joke. What do you call a dead werewolf? A good start. Haha, I hate werewolfs. Lousy, hairy halfbreeds.

5 AM: Finished work and flew home. On my way there, I saw a couple of hooligans defacing public property. I decided to take a bite out of crime and complete my civic duty for the day.

7:30 AM: The sun is about to rise. It's time to get in my coffin and get to bed.


Obviously, I'm banking that there's a lasting effect from this whole Twilight craze and also that vampires have sizable holdings that weren't touched by the recent upheavel in the stock market. Blood banks are recession proof, right?


In other news....

Two out of three ain't bad. Jasmine Murray and Jorge Nunez got kicked off American Idol tonight, sparing Anoop Desai. While I predicted that Michael Carver would get the boot, I simply overestimated the Hispanic vote. It's happened before. Note, however, that I said that Anoop, Jorge and Megan Joy were the three worst performers. Who comprised three of the final four? Anoop, Jorge and Megan Joy.