I performed a very important experiment last night during American Idol. I decided to see what effect, if any, alcohol had on my analysis of the competition. I learned a couple of very important things.

1) I really do not like Kara "Must Sing During Every Critique" DaoGuardi.

2) I really could care less what Megan Joy sounds like because she's the only attractive female left on the competition.

3) I still don't remember who the heck Kris Allen is.

4) Paula and Simon are totally bumping uglies. Totally.

Anyways, the three top performances of the night were Matt Giraud, Anoop Desai and Alison Iraheta. The bottom three were Michael "The Country Guy who Can't Sing Country" Sarver, Megan Joy (the theme weeks have not been kind to her...distinctive voice) and Scott MacIntyre. I know Scott is blind and all, but it's about time he donned a pair of Stevie Wonder glasses. It would raise his coolness factor by a scale of fifteen and eliminate the Randy Travis like stare that he seems to have.

It's interesting to note that none of the three "top performers" had strong weeks. Danny Gokey was a little lot on the corny side. Lil Rounds disappointed considering Motown Week should have been one of her strong points. And I really won't comment on Adam Lambert, other than to say he's officially won the vote of my cat, who perks up whenever he hits one of the notes that only she can hear.

Next week, I plan on revealing my official top eight prediction, picking who will drop out when and all that jazz. It should be a good time.